If you were at a big dance, the biggest you’d ever been to, in fact the biggest dance ever held and you saw that 49% of the dancers were pinned against one wall and 49% were pinned up against the opposite wall, only dancing among themselves, only dancing the same dance over and over again, only joking and being friendly with one another and never straying more than 10 feet away from their wall and leaving a permanent 100 foot chasm between them and the distant dancers, what would you think?
You overheard each side saying terrible things about the other side, talking about an impending knife fight after the dance, talking about how stupid and immoral the other side is, what elitist, intellectual, arrogant, godless snobs they are or what slacked-jawed, mouth-breathing, cousin-humping, Bible-addled rubes they are, while never, ever considering wandering toward the other side to really see and talk and maybe try a quick dance with the hopelessly out-of-touch other-siders.
You noticed that the friction and animosity was growing so strong, each side was actually moving the walls further apart so even a schism and distrust was growing within the dancers on their supposed “same” side. The most aggressive dancers were so hell bent on distancing themselves from those who did not dance like them, even among their recent friends, the walls were moving so far apart, the whole dance hall was threatening to collapse and crush them all.
Then you noticed a scant few dancers who were mingling in the center, even wandering side to side to engage dancers from both sides. They seemed to be the only ones having fun, the only ones trying new moves, the only ones learning new patterns and the only ones trading in old, worn out dances for new ones.
Not every interaction between the disparate but willing, curious, open-minded dancers who would engage the other side was friendly, far from it. There were sparks from collision of opposite spin, and yelps of shock from never before considered perspective, but there was freedom of expression and tolerance of unfamiliar steps on one another’s toes as bold and brilliant new patterns of movement were rapidly discovered and invented as the result of dynamic interaction of opposites.
In the swaying left and right swarm of once fiercely opposing dancers who would once never even consider looking at one another without disdain and distrust, occasional laugher was heard, pointed but friendly barbs were exchanged, but more importantly, fantastic and never before seen dances were breaking out all over, harmonious, fresh, bold and evolutionary new patterns of organic relationship and movement were allowing once avowed enemies to dance together in tolerance at least and joy at best.
More importantly, in the center of the dance hall and moving outward, some of the interacting dancers, recognizing the danger of impending collapse of the entire hall from the imbalance of those who only wished to push the walls out further and gather only on their side, began to build pillars to stabilize the structure and prevent the imminent collapse that would bring chaos and destruction to everyone inside.
Have you ever been to a dance like this? Are you dancing the same dance over and over with the same dancers, saying the same jokes over and over about the other side? Do you never really look at the dancers on the other side, rigidly certain you know their moves and righteously certain they should be removed from the hall once and for all? Do you hear the creaking of the walls, feel the impending collapse coming and feel certain the other side is to blame?
If only they would wisen up, come out of their cave, see the light, come to their senses and come over here, you think. That is our only hope of salvation. One thing is for certain, they have to make the first move in our direction, that is the only sane solution and that is non-negotiable.
This has been the Big Dance throughout human history and if nothing changes, it’s going to kill us all, the righteous dancers and the profane, under the same collapse. The knives we now have available to fight with have exceeded our ability to control them.
For the fun, the adventure, the innovative and the evolutionary (as well as the survival of this dancing species), please make the first move, sashay toward the other side, watch their moves, show them yours, extend a hand, or at least a hip, have a bump, awkwardly develop a new pattern, have fun, have an argument, keep trying, keep talking, see how the other half lives.
As dancers from the same species, we all know that love is the only and ultimate answer. You know it and you know in your heart they know it over there, too, although it’s so hard to see it in them (especially when you’re not looking for it). Regardless of ideology, we share the same biology. Love, tolerance, open-mindedness, willingness to consider the other side is the only solution but it always and forever does come with the Prime Caveat: You first.